Damn.

Son of a... I really do feel something to her. Something strong. Damn strong. 

Always when I look into her dark and mysterious brown eyes I try to get deeper and deeper. Always when I look at her I have a huge willingness to kiss her wonderful lips. Always when I'm alone I think of her cute smile...

I guess you know what it all might mean. 

Am I in love? That's a tough one.

Chance.

Recently I've met someone. Her name's Natalie.

A few days ago I came back from my greatest trip ever - Cote d'Azure, Southern France. I've seen some beautiful landscapes, majestic views, met wonderful people. Three of them I met really closely - our two drivers, Edward and Jurek and our guide, Poli. We've lived some amazing moments together, boned with each other so much that it was damn hard to say goodbye. I don't know if I'm gonna see Edward and Jurek ever again, but we're meeting with Poli next month. I just can't wait... She changed us, changed the way we think, the way we behave in some life situations. She really was our guide, life guide. Thanks Poli so much. You're our Big Sister ;)

OK, so what do I mean by naming this post "chance"? In the beginning I mentioned about a girl called Natalie. But first, do you remember when I wrote about my thing with Ada? That I'm still in love with her? Natalie is a chance. A chance to forget. I gotta tell you how it all started.

Actually, we started talking with each other just a day before departure out of France. But that was just talking, nothing serious. While we were on the bus and there was the nightfall coming, I sat right next to her. We started talking. I noticed that we're getting closer to each other, not only in physical way, but emotional too. We were sitting and talking about hell knows what, actually... It was some kind of flirting, innocent bantering, chaffing. Beautiful. We were getting closer to each other each second, each minute. Finally, the night came. She was tired of whole day spent in the bus and wanted to sleep for some time. I was sitting next to the window so she offered that she's gonna lay on my knees. I obviously said yes. And so she did. It was around 12:30 am. It was dark outside, there was a silence inside and I hugged her. We were somewhere in Italy. I proposed I'm gonna sing her some lullaby. And that's exactly what I did. It was "Seven Spanish Angels", and then "Hallelujah". I guess I also sang something by Jack Johnson, e.g. "Better Together" and "Do you remember?". Actually, she didn't fall asleep, but her face with beautiful, but closed eyes was so damn sweet that even I couldn't have dropped off. We were lying, I mean she was lying and I was sitting, like this for about two hours after which we... Started talking. Again. It was about 2 am in the morning. Talking about what? I even can't remember. I guess it was some chaffing, flirting, conversation about nothing. They're the best ones. Guess for how long it lasted? Until around 5:30. It was probably the longest dialogue I've ever had with anyone.

We woke up at 8 at some gas station next to the highway. We were in Austria. We've visited Vienna and spent there around 4 hours. Waste of time, actually. It was Sunday, 8:30 am, 3 degrees Celsius, nobody on the streets. Nobody but us. But never mine, what was next was the best. It was 7 pm. She started feeling sad about end of our trip. I was comforting her, hugging. I even kissed her in her cheek. It was a beautiful moment. She was crying. She lied her head on my shoulder. We were sitting like this for about 10 minutes until we got to our destination.

While we were saying goodbye, I kissed her cheek, hugged her and kissed her forehead. I looked deep into her eyes and said "Everything's gonna be alright". 

We're meeting on Friday. She'd had a boyfriend but she broke up with him yesterday. Do I want to do something? Definitely yes. 

But there's one another thing. In the photo you can see Rachel and Ross. For sure you know what was the story about them in Friends. They always loved each other, since beginning to the end. For greatest part of time they were not together, they were trying to be with someone else, but they always loved each other. They were best friends and automatically best lovers for themselves. How it all ended? They got together in the end of the story. Ross was trying to forget about Rachel as a lover, to get over... But finally happened what was supposed to happen. 

Is Natalie a way to forget about Ada? If it is, is it gonna be a successful way? I hope so. I feel something to her, something strong. I really want it to work out. "If you want something to work, it will". Damn true. 

Good Ol' Beauty.

I've just read an article about old cars in Top Gear Magazine written by James May and yes, I agree absolutely. Having an old car is nothing like having a brand new one. It's better. 

Having a new car is like having a brand new set of bathroom furniture - they're all smooth, pretty, good looking and well working. They satisfy you because they work in the way you want them to. But there is one problem - they're all completely deprived of soul. Some say that some fancy ass sports cars have a soul because they sound differently, drive differently and feel differently. But let me tell you something, my friend - they're just the same as any other new car I know. Do you know why? Because 'having a soul' is something in the way different than being different. It's about experience. 

And there we come to the old cars. Experience is a factor here. If the car is twenty years old, you can definitely say that it's got a soul. That it's experienced. Do you know why? Because it's got 200k miles on the dial and you're the only person in the world who knows how to set a sit in your car in order to stop this rambling around and dancing on the floor every time you try to take a corner. It's beautiful. You look on your car's headlamps and you can see in them how many millions of landscapes they have seen. You look on the steering wheel and wonder how many millions of corners it has made. You look on the passenger's sit with a huge black/brown stain on the upholstery and you try to imagine a previous owner going to McDonald's, ordering a cup of coffee, putting it on the passenger's sit and then you see a cup falling over and a coffee pouring away. You look on the gear lever and wonder how many times it's been moved. Each morning you wake up and you're just amazed of the fact that your car is still working! After some time you get so familiar with an old car you own that I can even bet $100 on the fact that any other person who's going to try to at least move my car, is not gonna be able to do it. No way. 

Some owners of brand new cars may say "if you guys had more money and could afford a new car, you would buy it". Bullshit. And by the way, our cars are sometimes in the way more expensive than yours. We, "ol' guys", love old cars and are not gonna change them on any new, safe, good lookin' Merc or whatsoever. You don't understand it? We do. You can't.

© PHOTO BY tangerined, FLICKR.COM

Happiness is enjoying the sunset together.

Happiness is enjoying the sunset together
Originally uploaded by Ingrid0804

I just thought it'd be a great attachment to my previous post :)

HappYness.

Wersja POLSKA ponizej.

As you probably can see I've broken one of my key rules on my blog. Black And White looks. But this picture and mostly colors of it were too beautiful and true to simply convert it into B&W photo. 

Actually, there is another key rule that I've broken just a seconds ago. I wrote something in other language than English. I did it especially for my dear friend Marta who asked me to write one post in our native language which is Polish. And so I did. The reason I write all this in English is one simple fact. Accessibility. The ease of understanding. Since English is the most well-known language in the world I wanted to give an opportunity to everyone to get what I meant while writing my new thought. That's it.

So now let's go to the topic of this post. Happiness. Some of them have it, some not. Some of them are always happy, some have never felt this way. Some of them find it, some have never come across it. Some of them run for it, some even don't want it. Some of them know what it is, some not. 

Why am I writing about happiness anyway? I recently watched a phenomenal movie 'The Pursuit of Happyness' and I just couldn't resist. Right after watching I wanted to go to my keyboard and start tapping but I was just too tired. This has to be the second (after 'Shawshank Redemption') film at the end of which I dropped a few tears. And yes, I'm the kinda' guy who, sometimes!, cries in the cinema. [(...)I'm the kinda' guy who laughs at the funeral(...)]. Anyway, this was one of the happiest movie moments that I've ever seen before. When Chris finally finds his happiness, in this case happYness. But he wasn't just looking for it, he was running for it. Pursuing it. Finally it let him get it.

And what is a happiness for me? Am I happy?

Happiness is a state of mind when everything is just the way it's supposed to be. Even though at first it may seem like it's not like that, after a short time you realize that everything's just right and a smile comes on your face. You sit on the bench in park or in the garden with a glass of juice in your hand. You're happy. After all you realize that you live in the country that is not tainted by war and it's free, you've got a wonderful friends who sometimes piss you off but the fact that you've got them is one of the best things that ever happened to you, you've got a job or working parents, so poverty is not the thing that you have to deal with, you've got a loving family, you're healthy and there are cool people around you. And you've got this glass of juice in your hand. And you know what? I'm happy.

© PHOTO BY maya, FLICKR.COM

Szczescie. HappYness.

English version above.

 

Postanowilem napisac jeden post po polsku specjalnie na zyczenie mojej przyjaciolki Marty. Moze najpierw wytlumacze dlaczego pisze mojego bloga nie w rodzimym jezyku, tylko w angielskim. Chce, aby blog byl dostepny dla kazdego, kto sie nim zainteresuje, ktory przypadkiem na niego wpadnie, albo ktoremu sie nudzi. Nie chce stwarzac zadnych barier jezykowych, ktore moglyby sprawic, ze moja grupa odbiorcow bylaby ograniczona. Jestem przywiazany do zarowno jezyka polskiego jak i do Polski, ale angielski daje duzo wiecej mozliwosci. To moze tyle slowem wstepu.

No to teraz temat mojego postu. Szczescie. Niektorze je maja, niektorzy nie. Niektorzy od poczatku sa szczesliwi, niektorzy nigdy szczescia nie zaznaja. Niektorzy je znajduja, niekorzy niegdy sie na nie nie natykaja. Niektorzy za nim biegna, niektorzy nawet go nie chca. Jest wiele wariacji na ten temat. Niektorzy wiedza czym jest, niektorzy nie. 

Dlaczego pisze o szczesciu? Niedawno obejrzalem fenomenalny film 'Pursuit of Happyness' i nie moglem sie opanowac. Zaraz po seansie mialem ochote doskoczyc do klawiatury i od razu zaczac stukac, ale zmeczenie wzielo gore. To byl drugi (po 'Shawshank Redemption') film, na koncu ktorego polecialo pare lez. Moment ten byl jednym z najszczesliwszych momentow filmowych na jakie mialem okazje patrzec. Kiedy Chrisowi w koncu udaje sie znalezc szczescie. Ale on go nie tylko szukal, on za nim biegl. Scigal je. W koncu dalo sie zlapac.

A czym jest szczescie dla mnie? Jaki to jest stan? Czy jestem szczesliwy?

Szczescie jest stanem ducha, w ktorym wszystko jest tak jak byc powinno. Nawet jesli poczatkowo wydaje sie byc inaczej, po krotkim zastanowieniu dochodzisz do wniosku, ze przeciez wszystko jest ok i usmiech pojawia Ci sie na twarzy. Siedzisz na lawce w parku albo na dzialkuni ze szklanka soku w rece. Jestes szczesliwy. Przeciez mieszkasz w kraju, ktory jest wolny i nie zbrukany wojna, masz wspanialych przyjaciol, ktorzy czasem Cie denerwuja, ale fakt, ze ich masz jest jedna z najlepszych rzeczy jaka kiedykolwiek Ci sie przytrafila, masz prace, czy tez pracujacych rodzicow, wiec bieda Cie nie dotknie, wlasnie, masz kochajaca rodzine, jestes zdrowy, otaczaja Cie fajni ludzie. No i masz te szklanke soku w dloni. I wiesz co? Jestem szczesliwy.  

© PHOTO BY NETSROT, FLICKR.COM 

Dreams.

Everyone has some dream, some personal dream. Almost all of them are in some way associated with future. We all think of it. What's gonna happen, what we'll be doing for living. I just wanted to share some of my ideas with you.

In the recent years I had tons of ideas for my future. Do you know 'Nash Bridges' TV series? I got sucked into it years ago and back in that time I wanted to be a cop in SFPD. Then I watched some movie about FBI agent and from then I wanted to be one. In one moment "The OC" drama came into my life and because of it I decided to become a lawyer just like Sandy Cohen, one of the actors playing leading part in the show. After some time I started watching Top Gear automotive show produced by BBC. Try to guess who I wanted to be then... A motoring journalist.

It kept on going and going. Once I've watched something new, I automatically fell in love with it and wanted to become a main character in some way. But this was, it isn't anymore. It was a childhood, play. Right now things have changed. I have two plans for my future.

First I wanna say that I want to make a move. Now I live in Poland. I love my country, its atmosphere, people, way of being. But I feel like I want something new, something not touched by myself for any longer time. Right after my college I want to move to United States and try to start a life out there. You may ask why I want to do this. Well, definitely not because of any financial circumstances. I want to experience on my skin what this 'american way of being' means, I want to put into effect my 'american dream'. Most of my family lives in Massachusetts, one uncle in New Hampshire though, and I'd just like to continue this 'american line' of the family, I'd like to bring my name to USA (all of the family out there is from my mum's side). And also, United States as well as whole North America is a beautiful place, at least in the majority. Beautiful landscapes, open roads, nature. The same things are in Europe but those american are just different. And I want to find out how that difference feels like.

So, speaking of my plans, I have two of them like I've already said. First one is simple. Since I want to be a journalist (but not necessarily motoring one) I've always wanted to live in New York and at least try to get some internship for the good start in New York Times. If this doesn't work out so then I'll try to get a job in WNYC radio station or any other station all over New York metropolitan area. Polish journalism degree, just as any other, is widely recognized and highly valued in United States so I don't think there'll be some huge problem with getting a job. Of cource it's not gonna be easy but it's doable.

Another plan is this beautiful one. It's been my dream for such a long time but I never thought of making it real, even don't know why. A coffee shop. I've always wanted to own a small coffee shop around a corner in some small town. I just find it romantic, don't know why. Have you seen 'Feast Of Love'? A guy playing a leading role out there owns a small coffeehouse on the corner in some small town in Oregon. But it's not like it was that I watched some film and wanted to be just like the main character. I got this idea a long time before watching a movie. Anyway, it looks exactly the same as the one I'd like to have. Just beautiful. There's a small city of Keene in New Hampshire where I'd like to set it up. It's a walking distance from Swanzey where my uncle lives so I won't be completly alone out there. I'd love to rent a house, maybe buy, lease some location on the corner around downtown of Keene and just start. It wouldn't be big. It'd look like this one on the picture. Big windows, a cople of tables with chairs around them, wireless Internet (well, this is XXI century). I would hire two people I guess, maybe even one. I'd love to make a family atmosphere in my coffee shop. I don't want to make some huge money on it, my goal isn't making another Starbucks net. I just want it to be small, I want to have a friendly atmosphere in there, I want everyone to know each other. Just a small friendly coffee shop in a small friendly town. That's it.

But there is one side effect. I won't have my best friends next to me. And that's really hard to shoulder.