Confusion.

I think a lot. About anything. Every thing. But now there's only one thing that I contemplate about. Natalie.

I can't remember when was the last time I loved someone that much, after such short time. Every time I see her I wanna kiss her as much as I can, I wanna hug her for as long as I can. She gave me some beautiful big teddy bear that she'd slept with the night before my birthday party. He still smells just like her. But something wrong happened.

I told ya I love kissing and hugging Natalie. In fact, she doesn't like it as much as I do. She told me yesterday that I'd gotten used to all this and it starts to piss her off a little bit. I didn't know what to say, I mean, I thought everything is just fine, that it's ok with her when I kiss her. She had never told me that before and I had no idea something's wrong. It all confused me so much that I had to do anything that could've explained the situation as fast as it was possible. First, I wrote a long, long text message saying how precious she is to me, how much she means to me and that I don't want to loose her. She replied that everything is fine. 

I hope she said something like that just because she doesn't want me to hurry up too much. I hope that's the only cause of all this. Loosing her would be the worst thing that could ever happen to me. 

"You know people when you do find somebody, hold that woman, hold 

that man, love him, hold him, squeeze her, please her, hold, squeeze 

and please that person, give 'em all your love, signify your feelings 

with every gentle caress, because it's so important to have the 

special somebody to hold, kiss, miss, squeeze, and please" - Blues Brothers